Keele and Finch: Stigma

To Whom It May Concern

By Gloria Carissa Swain

Mental illness happens every day and to anyone. Until this disease is accepted as a real illness, those affected and infected will continue to suffer, alone and in silence. ~ Gloria

Bio: Gloria Carissa Swain is determined to raise awareness about mental illness in the black community. Realizing each day is an uphill battle in the fight against this taboo disease, she self-published a 76-page paperback about people of colour and Depression.

Gloria doesn’t proclaim to be an extraordinary writer or exceptional photographer but finds joy in being productive and is dedicated to increasing awareness about mental illness and helping put an end to the stigma.

Book Summary: To Whom It May Concern is a glimpse into the lives of five people of colour and their journey with mental illness. This short story brings attention to the fact that there is no single cause for depression and how this disease can affect anyone at anytime. The characters are all fighting their battles in silence because of the stigma associated with depression, especially in the black community. Angie, the waitress, neglects her youthfulness and puts her life on hold; Ron, the young man, turns to a life of crime and drugs; Dr. Taylor throws himself into work and gives up on ever finding love again; Dr. Kitts finds his comfort in alcohol; and Lucy, who has suffered a lifetime of despair continues to fight a long hard battle. But all it takes is one life-changing incident to destroy all hope for one of them.

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“God doesn’t love me enough to take me back to heaven.”

Several weeks have passed since the agreement with Ron, and Lucy hasn’t written another word regarding her plan as she patiently awaits the end. But her would-be attacker is nowhere to be found. Thinking and fearing that he has chickened out; she becomes even more restless with her life and tries to think of other ways to carry out her intense plan.

Sitting alone in her usual spot in the coffee shop, at the far corner table, she tries hard to shut out memories of one of her many unsuccessful attempts to end her life. Fighting back tears, she remembers being a sad little girl sitting on the hot pavement and sliding a rusty razor blade, stolen from her father’s shaving kit, back and forth across her tiny frail wrist. The jagged edge sliced into her flesh and bright red blood hit the ground as tears burnt her little cheeks. The echoes of her siblings laughing and shouting, “You don’t belong here,” rang in her head and she remembers thinking, “God doesn’t love me enough to take me back to heaven.”

Lucy always wondered why her mother never stopped her brothers and sisters from teasing and attacking her. Growing up with so much pain is extremely difficult, especially for a young child who desperately needed to feel loved.

And to this day Lucy wonders why she was allowed, by a God who was suppose to watch over and love little children, to live a life filled with so much pain and sadness. Now, over four decades later, she is convinced she has found the only solution to all her problems.

No one will ever understand how a sad childhood could have stolen such a bright possible future. Lucy will never understand why she was never able to love herself the way she thought she needed her family to love her. ~ Excerpt from To Whom It May Concern